The veterinary media giant, The Cageliner has undergone an un-hostile takeover this week. The online newspaper and social media juggernaut was founded in November 2018. The Cageliner was founded by Dr. Sarah Boston and two colleagues who made up fake names to avoid online hate. Boston is now the sole owner, President, CEO, CFO, COO, Head of Marketing, Editor, and Senior Writer of the newspaper and media conglomerate. When questioned about the takeover, her colleagues issued a joint statement, “Yeah, whatevs. We were getting kind of tired of it, to be honest.” After one email exchange, the three agreed to dissolve the company and turn over the assets (consisting of The Cageliner logo, Facebook page, Instagram account, and some Shutterstock image rights) over to Boston. Since it’s inception, the company has accrued several hundred dollars of debt and has zero interest from advertisers or companies hoping to buy out The Cageliner. Boston would definitely sell out if she could. She would roll over and pee like a submissive dog for some big Pharma dollars. Boston attributes the lack of hostility in the takeover bid to the fact that all of the founders have Canadian roots. “This was never going to be a Succession-style takedown. None of us are killers like that.” So, what does the future hold for Boston and The Cageliner? “I’m moving it over to a new website and getting some merch. Maybe some new stuff coming soon. Watch this space.” When asked how she stays inspired to continue to write mediocre headlines every week, Boston said, “Well, stupid shit keeps happening. That’s the beauty of veterinary medicine. I just have to write it down.” By merch, she means a new clothing line that is sure to take the veterinary fashion world by storm. The veterinary community is waiting with bated breath to see what happens next. T-shirts and hoodies with that sweet, sweet logo? Sign me up.